need another drink. this is the easiest way
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
