i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
