I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
