Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
