Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
