We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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