everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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