It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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