Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You pole danced in your parka.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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