i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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