Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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