fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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