im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
