69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
