after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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