She said her name was "party"
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
