yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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