He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
