You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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