Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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