I wish i was in the wii world.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i out mim tonsoeep
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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