11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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