Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
