That's intense
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm at about main and main street
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
