I'm drive I can fine osifer
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
