we're blogging at a bar
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
