my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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