When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
birth control should be required to get into college
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
