At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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