As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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