Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
