It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
