I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
