I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
