Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
