Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
