I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
