before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So here I am, sexting at work.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
