We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
try to milk me bitch
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
