Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
