How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
