We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
