Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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