Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
