There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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