Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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