Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
