New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
