one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
