Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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