He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
