its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
